Fresh Air

January 16, 2011

Sunday morning and Dominic is topping off his packing.

We are all fraught with anxiety, except for Eliza. The dining room is slowly emptying its boxes and bags and duffels into the cars. I am on hyper drive inside, so take a much-needed walk into the cold, crisp air.

It is just beginning to snow – a powder of flakes, a sprinkle of white. I circle the garden, rather blind to what I’m seeing, hoping for calm “weather” for Dominic all day today. The snow falls a little faster, a little thicker and I breathe in and out, sucking in cold, blowing out warmth. I’m not very interested in sedum right now, in snowflakes, in ice or in evergreens.

By the time I wander to the front, I feel a little calmer, a little more confident. The fresh air and light (not sunshine, god forbid that there would be sunshine) are helping, the cold piercing through the miasma of worry.

The snow falls thicker yet. Now I have another thing to worry about – driving up north in a snowstorm.

He has come so far and this is such a great test. In my mind, I know he is ready. In my heart, I hope that is true.

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