I Have Seen The Enemy

April 27, 2010

Watching from my office window late in the afternoon, I see them. A pair of them. Oh, aren’t they sweet with their floppy ears and fluffy tails and their big brown ears? Aren’t they cunning, the way they slowly hop through the garden?

Absolutely not. The only emotions and thoughts I’m having are “where are the hawks and the coyotes when you really need them? Or even a shot gun.”

I watch as one slices off a new hosta leaf with those evil sharp teeth and then calmly sits and chews. Now a casual jump, the hosta still dangling from his malicious little lips. He settles under the garden bench while the other peruses the vegetation on the top of the berm. It’s amazing there’s anything of value left there – they treat it as their own personal salad bar.


I open the door and shout, “get outta my yard.” They look at me with little to no interest and certainly no fear. They nonchalantly jump under the fence into the Backyard Neighbor’s yard.


My nemesis


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